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Lately, there have been nights in our lives that become unforgettable memories, nights that one does not anticipate and before which the only thing one can do is smile when recalling them.

I already shared in the previous post what I experienced during the presentation evening of The Art of Detachment in Madrid a couple of weeks ago . A magical night in the company of wonderful people in which I had the pleasure of sharing enriching and very human conversations. That was one of those nights I am referring to, and at the time I thought it could not be surpassed.

I did not know then what awaited me in Costa Rica.

The night of November 25

Perhaps the nights become even more special when they are lived in one’s own land.

It is difficult for me to describe what I felt when I saw the Texas Tech auditorium in San Jose – courtesy of my brothers in life: Mome and John Keith – full of people. More than a hundred people who wanted to come motivated by a mixture of affection and curiosity.

This new evening celebrating The Art of Detachment was organized by two soul friends, Edgar Mata and Carmen Fallas, and Alexandra Franco -my Alex-who dedicated their time and imagination to come up with a format unlike anything else: an intimate and brutally honest forum. Edgar, in addition, was in charge of conducting the event with the professionalism that has always characterized him, but without being able to hide that he was doing it from the heart.

“Nothing great happens without a loving intention behind it,” to quote an excerpt from my own book. It is a phrase that I keep very much in mind and in which I find myself thinking whenever I see myself in the presence of passion, commitment and effort in the fruit of anyone’s work.

What I found there when I arrived took my breath away. I knew I was going to present my first book, which in itself has enough emotional charge, but I could not anticipate -or maybe I did not want to anticipate to feel- the magnitude of the collective embrace that awaited me inside. There I came across bits and pieces of my own history, samples of the paths chosen, of the mistakes and the successes. Of what I have lived. An experience that leaves you on the verge of tears and that I perceived as an act of true gratitude.

And how could it be otherwise, the presence of my family was an immense gift. There were Alberto Franco, my brother-in-law; Stephanie Howard, our daughter-in-law; Jhon Garcia and Luisa Lopez, our cousins from Miami; my cousins Maritza and Douglas; also my beloved grandchildren, Mauricio and Gaston, accompanied in spirit by Rafael, who at only two years old was already sleeping soundly when the time came. And, of course, the most essential: my children, Santiago and Adriana. They -our pride, our center- have been, without intending it, our gps and lighthouse.

The friends who arrived came from very different corners of the journey through life. As many surprises and joys as there were people in the auditorium. As I write, I review faces and smiles, I embrace every soul present.

I felt truly accompanied. Every smile, every sustained look, every question, every gesture, every hand shaken at the end… everything was a manifestation of affection that went beyond us.

At the presentation, for each book handed out, ADA, the Friends of Learning Association, received a donation from the attendees for their program “My Fantastic Story”. Their generosity was appreciated.

Thank you to everyone who was there. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Three voices, one pulse

I was joined on stage by three wonderful people: Julio González, Margaret Grigsby and Antonio Hernández-Rodicio. They all took the book, opening it from their own worlds, and offered me surprising perspectives.

I remember having read somewhere, from the mouth of a writer whose name I do not remember right now, that a book ceases to be yours when it falls into the hands of a reader, because then it becomes that same reader’s, who will read it with his or her eyes. And it is true. Readers take a text and bring it into the lens of their own experiences.

Something that Margaret pointed out at a certain moment pierced my soul and left me thinking. She, always lucid, capable of reading not only the words, but what they hide, said that the book contained “raw, sincere, revealing passages, put there without makeup, with the desire to connect”.

He was not wrong. That was – and is – exactly what The Art of Detachment is.

Antonio also made me reflect on my own book when he revealed that he had understood the detachment I am talking about as an actor of love, “the love that follows the abrupt landing in reality, stimulating and human”.

As he said: we have all wondered at some point what we are doing with our lives, what we are missing out on and whether we are missing out on what is really worth doing.

I also found Julio’s view fascinating. He extracted from the book the titanic task of fighting day by day with the ego to dominate it, to subdue it; also the courage to admit it without fear of what people will say and to become truly “arrived”, in the sense of feeling complete, without ballast.

Hopefully, from now on the book will accompany others as well.

The art of detachment moves between the learned and the lived, between the search and the revelations, between vulnerabilities and what one discovers about oneself when one lets go of what no longer belongs to oneself. But it should not be understood as an abrupt gesture or a bitter renunciation, it is an apprenticeship, because detachment is the path towards the recovery of the inner path, towards what really matters.

The Art of Detachment goes back and forth from those learnings to personal stories, anecdotes and moments, from fragments of this blog simmering to experiences that I hope will add to each person who reads it. It is and has been an exciting literary experiment.

The most important thing: Alex

It was a spectacular night. But I have to say, and I do it with my heart in my hand, that nothing was more important to me than the moment in which I had the opportunity to publicly recognize Alex, my wife, my inspiration, my muse, my support.

It’s been almost fifty years of walking together. Of growing up, of laughing, of stumbling and wandering, of reinventing ourselves without announcing it.

She is in each and every page of the book, and she was even before there were letters on the blank pages. The dedication may be brief, but for me it means a lifetime: To Alex.

When I mentioned it after a question from the audience in the voice of Diego Garcia, the audience burst into applause that I still hear. As I say in the book, I have always tried to let it guide me as a principle: it is not thanked, it is honored.

What’s next

The Art of Detachment flies free. As of today, December 3, it is published in Spain, and from that same day it can be found in ebook version.

Costa Rica and other Latin American countries will soon follow. The exact date is still unknown, but as soon as I know it, I will make it public.

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I would like to close this text with some lines from a poem by Nelson Mandela about forgiveness, liberation, hope and the future that Antonio Hernández-Rodicio shared with us. They come from a poem entitled Letting Go:

To let go is not to enable, but to allow to learn from the natural consequences. /

Letting go is not trying to change or blame another; I can only change myself. /

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and appreciate the moment. /

To let go is not to protect; it is to allow another to face reality / To let go is not to deny but to accept / To let go is not to deny but to accept.

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. /

To let go is to fear less and love more.